What Are Love Languages and Why They’re Important!

Affirmations for Healthy Relationships-

My love for my partner grows stronger each passing day.

My partner and I accept each other’s strengths and weaknesses.

My partner and I give our relationship the time and attention it deserves.

My partner and I look forward to some quality time together.

I am supportive of my partner, just as he/she is supportive of me.

What are love languages and how to practice them?

You may have heard of the 5 Love Languages but have you ever really thought about putting them into action? Practicing love languages is a great way to feel closer and more connected to your significant other and even friends. Many don’t take into account that some people’s way of showing affection can be completely opposite to them, and oftentimes this can cause distress in a relationship. Educating yourself on someone’s languages will help you understand them on a deeper level, and allow you to show up the way they need.

The five love languages are five different ways of expressing and receiving love: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. The concept of love languages was developed by Gary Chapman, Ph.D., in his book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, where he describes these five unique styles of communicating love, categories he distilled from his experience in marriage counseling and linguistics.

To find out your love languages, you want to first take the free quiz online! If you can get your significant other to take the quiz as well, even better! You can find it below:

5 Love Languages Test

Now, let’s talk about how we can put forth and implement these love languages in our own lives and relationships!

Words of Affirmations

People who value and have words of affirmation in their love languages value verbal acknowledgment. They want to hear you say precisely what you appreciate or admire about them. This could look like frequent “I Love You’s”, praise, compliments, and just overall appreciation.

Ways to Implement:

-Try writing love notes when you leave the house. Can put them on the mirror in the bathroom or on the fridge.

-Send a sweet good morning text thanking them for the delicious dinner last night. Or simply wishing them a good day ahead.

-Tell them how proud you are of them when they have

accomplished something at work or in their personal life.

-Complement their outfit in the morning before work, or tell them they look great today!

Quality Time

People whose love language is quality time, feel the most adored when their partner actively wants to spend time with them and is always down to hang out. They particularly love when active listening, eye contact, and full presence are prioritized moments in their relationship.

Ways to implement:

-Carving out date nights during the week

-Walks together after dinner or in the morning

-Eliminating distractions and actively listening to one another.

-Weekly or monthly Zoom/ Facetime catch-ups

Acts of Service

“Actions speak louder than words”? For some people, that is particularly true of love. If acts of service are your spouse’s primary love language, nothing will speak more deeply to him or her emotionally than simple acts of service. Some of us feel most loved when others lend a helping hand or do something kind for us.

Ways to Implement:

-Making them a morning cup of coffee before work

-Picking them up from the airport

-Bringing them some lunch when they are unable to

-Making them dinner for date night

Physical Touch

“This may seem self-explanatory, but there are both intimate and non-intimate touches that can and should be used to show your partner love. One of the benefits of being in a relationship with someone whose love language is physical touch: you can express love without having to speak, without having to do the dishes, or go out and buy a gift. Physical touch is one of the easiest ways to be intimate with your partner and even though it is physical, it can create emotional intimacy.”- Verywell Mind– Very Well Mind

Ways to Implement it:

-Rubbing your partners back when they are uptight or had a long day

-Holding your partner’s hand in public or in an uncomfortable situation

– Putting a hand on your partner shoulder as you walk by

– Touching his or her leg as you’re driving together

– Embracing and sexual intercourse

Receiving Gifts

Receiving gifts and presents are physical symbols of love that materially express the affection someone has for them. The true meaning of gift-giving isn’t an extravagance, it’s sentimentality. A person who feels loved through these items might cherish the gift, however small, more than another who speaks a different love language. Every time they see it, it will serve as a reminder that they are loved.

Ways to implement:

-Little trinkets and souvenirs when you go on trips

–Surprises—they make you feel cherished and thought of.

– Birthdays and anniversaries are a good way to express and receive this act of love language

– Flowers for no reason!

– Pay attention to cues, likes and dislikes, and ideas your partner talks about. It will ensure a more meaningful and thought-out present.

Knowing your partners or friends love language can help open the line of communication, add a sense of appreciation for one another, bring you closer together and strengthen your bond. You will discover how to give and receive love, especially if you are able to get your partner to take the test too.